Monkey is no angel. He's a bright kid, very verbal and at times acts like he's a close friend of mine that I can "schmooze" with all evening, but he's also 4 years old. There are those days when he acts like, well, like he's a 4-year-old. Today was one of those days.
Monkey loves his brother and thank goodness Froggy is a big baby with some extra baby fat, You know the kind of baby where you can find a delicious fat roll to kiss and tickle. Monkey likes to get "rough and tumble" with his baby brother and thinks he's his buddy and forgets he's just a baby.
This evening before bedtime as Froggy was "cruising" around the living room, Monkey decided, as a typical 4-year-old and big brother, to attack him. Froggy face planted into our coffee table and Monkey was put into a "time-out" by his Daddy.
IceMan was so upset that this was the 4th time today he warned Monkey to be gentle with his baby brother, that he yelled, "That's it, no TV for you the entire day tomorrow." (uhh, IceMan, you work on Sundays, remember?!)
From the kitchen I heard this statement and came rushing in.... "Whoa, I said, what Daddy meant to say was there will be no TV the entire MORNING that he's in charge." (this is my one day a week when I get to sleep late and IceMan is in charge of the boys)
Monkey cried and promised to be more gentle with his brother. (let's hope) I told IceMan next time he's dishing out punishments, let's try to remember not to Punish Mommy.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Mom for a Day!
Today I had a colonoscopy. For those unfamiliar with what it is, I won't get into all the details and all that medical crap, if your interested... look it up. One point to note, the medical instructions say that you should refrain from work, driving and anything that involves making important decisions for the whole day after the procedure. So of course, I put all my faith into IceMan. How could I care for my kids if I can't make important decisions like crackers vs. grapes for a snack or coloring vs. sidewalk chalk? But I was tired after the really good drugs they gave me, hooray for painkillers, so I was glad to have someone be a "substitute mommy" for me.
After my procedure, IceMan had to handle Monkey, Froggy and all the chaos craziness that I deal with daily for our condo sale and moving, plus, he also was trying to telecommute today at work. Multi-tasking - not so easy.
Needless to say, by the end of the day when it was time to get cleaned up and ready for bed, Monkey looked at a tired, unsuspecting IceMan who looked like he just got hit by a truck and
said, "Daddy, let me show you how to be Mommy for the bedtime stuff."
Amazing how my 4-year-old can handle the evening routine even better than my husband. Go Figure.
After my procedure, IceMan had to handle Monkey, Froggy and all the chaos craziness that I deal with daily for our condo sale and moving, plus, he also was trying to telecommute today at work. Multi-tasking - not so easy.
Needless to say, by the end of the day when it was time to get cleaned up and ready for bed, Monkey looked at a tired, unsuspecting IceMan who looked like he just got hit by a truck and
said, "Daddy, let me show you how to be Mommy for the bedtime stuff."
Amazing how my 4-year-old can handle the evening routine even better than my husband. Go Figure.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The OTHER Yom Kippur
Today is a Jewish fast day, no, not Yom Kippur, that's in September or October.
For more info on it, click here (What is Tisha B'av) Similar to the fast day of Yom Kippur, one cannot eat/drink for 25 hours. Yikes! I know people who don't observe Judaism think it's nuts. To be honest, even raised Jewish, I think it's nuts.There's actually a HILARIOUS Entourage (love that show) episode HBO-Entourage Yom Kippur Episode about the Yom Kippur holiday and shows a lighter side of how some Jews deal with the holiday. Tisha B'av although similar to Yom Kippur in some regards does allows Jews to work and continue about their regular workdays while observing the fast day.
Monkey in going to a Jewish camp this summer had NO camp today. Yup, with most people fasting they felt throwing the kids back at their parents for the day was easier than having to entertain them when your not drinking coffee and chasing it with Red Bull. Ah, what's a Mom to do. NO CAMP.
I joke because I am so used to having both my kids home on my own, it's no problem, but on so little sleep (per my usual) and lack of food/drink, it's a serious challenge. I took the kids in the oddly cool day to the park for some morning fun. While at the park a woman approached me and told me that another Mom had left her keys behind and would for sure return to the park because they seemed like her house keys. I told her no problem and I put them in Froggy's stroller.
After almost 2 hours of playing at the park no one returned for the keys. I felt obligated to find their owner and began my hunt. I explained to Monkey that returning something that someone lost is a big "mitzvah" aka good deed. He completely understood as last week we lost a toy froggy of his brother's and someone found it and tied it to the fence right where we lost it. So our hunt to find this woman began...
Her keys had a bunch of those key chain "preferred card" scanners so I thought we'd call Jewel first. They said, there was no record under the number on that key card so it's possible she did not register it with them.
Our next key card was CVS and they too had no record and said, they issue those "preferred cards" and you don't need to give them your personal info to do so. They offered to throw her keys into a bucket of others in case one day she came in to ask about them. Hello, why would she venture to CVS looking for them, she lost them AT THE PARK. Oy vey!
So off we went, Monkey was getting tired as we were almost a mile from our place and he was being a trooper about walking further and further. I told him that I would be so proud of him if on this fast day he can complete such an important "mitzvah" good deed to return something someone lost. He continued on as we walked to Borders hoping they would be our final stop.
I asked the Customer Service person about helping me find this woman. I handed over her keys and he checked said, her info, plus email was in their system. Hooray for Borders! He took the keys with the promise he'd contact her and let her know her keys were brought in...
Monkey wanted to know where the woman was and I explained how we didn't need to meet her to know we did a good thing. That's one of the most special parts of doing a "mitzvah" good deed. He was so excited and jumped up and down.. I did a "mitzvah", I did a "mitzvah". He stopped jumping and asked me if I was so proud. I gave him a kiss and told him I was...... then he asked if he could get a special treat, like a candy or push-up for doing such a good "mitzvah". I said no, you don't always get a treat for doing something nice. (although, I'd love that philosophy)
"Fine" he said. How about a piggy back ride home. Ah, with my exhausted self, hungry and thirsty..I conceded and told him he deserved it.
Just goes to show you... no good deed goes unpunished. Sadly, I was the one punished.
For more info on it, click here (What is Tisha B'av) Similar to the fast day of Yom Kippur, one cannot eat/drink for 25 hours. Yikes! I know people who don't observe Judaism think it's nuts. To be honest, even raised Jewish, I think it's nuts.There's actually a HILARIOUS Entourage (love that show) episode HBO-Entourage Yom Kippur Episode about the Yom Kippur holiday and shows a lighter side of how some Jews deal with the holiday. Tisha B'av although similar to Yom Kippur in some regards does allows Jews to work and continue about their regular workdays while observing the fast day.
Monkey in going to a Jewish camp this summer had NO camp today. Yup, with most people fasting they felt throwing the kids back at their parents for the day was easier than having to entertain them when your not drinking coffee and chasing it with Red Bull. Ah, what's a Mom to do. NO CAMP.
I joke because I am so used to having both my kids home on my own, it's no problem, but on so little sleep (per my usual) and lack of food/drink, it's a serious challenge. I took the kids in the oddly cool day to the park for some morning fun. While at the park a woman approached me and told me that another Mom had left her keys behind and would for sure return to the park because they seemed like her house keys. I told her no problem and I put them in Froggy's stroller.
After almost 2 hours of playing at the park no one returned for the keys. I felt obligated to find their owner and began my hunt. I explained to Monkey that returning something that someone lost is a big "mitzvah" aka good deed. He completely understood as last week we lost a toy froggy of his brother's and someone found it and tied it to the fence right where we lost it. So our hunt to find this woman began...
Her keys had a bunch of those key chain "preferred card" scanners so I thought we'd call Jewel first. They said, there was no record under the number on that key card so it's possible she did not register it with them.
Our next key card was CVS and they too had no record and said, they issue those "preferred cards" and you don't need to give them your personal info to do so. They offered to throw her keys into a bucket of others in case one day she came in to ask about them. Hello, why would she venture to CVS looking for them, she lost them AT THE PARK. Oy vey!
So off we went, Monkey was getting tired as we were almost a mile from our place and he was being a trooper about walking further and further. I told him that I would be so proud of him if on this fast day he can complete such an important "mitzvah" good deed to return something someone lost. He continued on as we walked to Borders hoping they would be our final stop.
I asked the Customer Service person about helping me find this woman. I handed over her keys and he checked said, her info, plus email was in their system. Hooray for Borders! He took the keys with the promise he'd contact her and let her know her keys were brought in...
Monkey wanted to know where the woman was and I explained how we didn't need to meet her to know we did a good thing. That's one of the most special parts of doing a "mitzvah" good deed. He was so excited and jumped up and down.. I did a "mitzvah", I did a "mitzvah". He stopped jumping and asked me if I was so proud. I gave him a kiss and told him I was...... then he asked if he could get a special treat, like a candy or push-up for doing such a good "mitzvah". I said no, you don't always get a treat for doing something nice. (although, I'd love that philosophy)
"Fine" he said. How about a piggy back ride home. Ah, with my exhausted self, hungry and thirsty..I conceded and told him he deserved it.
Just goes to show you... no good deed goes unpunished. Sadly, I was the one punished.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Super DADDY!
It's my mantra and I say it to everyone and most of all to Monkey. At least once a day, usually 2-3 times I end up saying, "I'm just ONE PERSON!" It can be regarding making food, getting him a snack, carrying 2 kids at a total of 60lbs or just running to somebody's attention the moment they need it and not the moment I am able. God I wish I was two people!
Tonight at bedtime Monkey said he was afraid to go to sleep tonight because what if there was a fire, what would we do. In trying to decide the best way to answer that... I paused and thought. Woah, that would be one of those times I would truly wish, as I do most days, that I was two people (maybe three).
I told him not to worry, that was a Mommy job, and that if there was ever a fire I would come in and grab my two boys, one under each arm and run out of the building like a SuperHero.
Monkey looked at me, deadly serious and said, "Mommy, you aren't a SuperHero."
I said, " Yes, honey, I am, I even have a cool Super tshirt that has a "Super" emblem on it."
Monkey said,"Mommy, you're funny, you aren't strong enough to lift me over your shoulder and carry me out of the building."
(here I'm thinking, ok, I carry you back from the park on my back and push a stroller with your brother in it at the same time, I think I'm pretty damn strong.)
I said, " I think I'll be ok."
Monkey said, "Well Mommy, you are JUST ONE PERSON (smart ass) and not really a SuperHero."
(do you hear my heart breaking here.)
Monkey continues, "Now Daddy on the other hand, he's super strong, he can lift me over his head, he's my SuperHero."
Damn that IceMan, maybe I should go to work all day, rarely see my kids and still be the SUPERHERO. Jerk.
Tonight at bedtime Monkey said he was afraid to go to sleep tonight because what if there was a fire, what would we do. In trying to decide the best way to answer that... I paused and thought. Woah, that would be one of those times I would truly wish, as I do most days, that I was two people (maybe three).
I told him not to worry, that was a Mommy job, and that if there was ever a fire I would come in and grab my two boys, one under each arm and run out of the building like a SuperHero.
Monkey looked at me, deadly serious and said, "Mommy, you aren't a SuperHero."
I said, " Yes, honey, I am, I even have a cool Super tshirt that has a "Super" emblem on it."
Monkey said,"Mommy, you're funny, you aren't strong enough to lift me over your shoulder and carry me out of the building."
(here I'm thinking, ok, I carry you back from the park on my back and push a stroller with your brother in it at the same time, I think I'm pretty damn strong.)
I said, " I think I'll be ok."
Monkey said, "Well Mommy, you are JUST ONE PERSON (smart ass) and not really a SuperHero."
(do you hear my heart breaking here.)
Monkey continues, "Now Daddy on the other hand, he's super strong, he can lift me over his head, he's my SuperHero."
Damn that IceMan, maybe I should go to work all day, rarely see my kids and still be the SUPERHERO. Jerk.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
What the f-ck is a Quilby?
I am stressed out! To say the least- packing up over 10 years of crap, organizing all the paperwork that is required to sell our place ( I sold it BY OWNER, so there's a load of work I need to do for the sale) and of course hunting for a new home and trying to find a place before we end up living with my Bachelor brother who likes my cooking, but not THAT much- Argh! It's a lot.
Thank goodness Monkey is at day camp and although there are days I'd love to just pack and pack and get in a zone I do have a 1-year-old, Froggy attached to my leg all day. Yup, he's pretty much attached to my leg- ALL DAY. So I pack at night, into the wee hours when everyone else in the world is sleeping. Except those people on Twitter, they're up and listening to my rants at all hours of the night. Thank goodness for Twitter. (there's a sentence in my whole life I never thought I'd type.)
Yesterday the shit hit the fan. My Management company is throwing a wrench into our final plans to sell our place and I pretty much lost it upon receiving a letter at my door from them yesterday right before the "bedtime dance" was to begin. We all know the "dance" when the kids need about 100 things done in an hour. So it was dinner, bathtime, play toys, read/practice books with Monkey, give Froggy a bottle, get Froggy to bed and spend "alone" time with Monkey where he gets Mommy's undivided attention for an hour of fun/games/puzzles/books, etc. CRAZY! So when the letter arrived and I was already in the midst of craziness I totally lost it. I was stressing and crazy, like a woman on a mission where no one should get in my way. No one.
I tried to occupy Monkey and get Froggy to bed so I could focus on my plan with my Management company and discuss with IceMan the best way to go. Ugh, as if moving isn't enough, this is ultimate stress. Froggy went into his crib and in trying to keep my cool I may have been a bit harsh in my tone with Monkey, so I could "handle" this new situation. (there's always something isn't there)
In my pleading with him to please "FIND SOMETHING TO DO!" (promises of books, games and puzzles out the window)
He looked at me with those big blue eyes and paused, then he very slowly said, "I'm gonna be a Quilby."
I wanted to yell, "WHAT THE FUCK IS A QUILBY" because I was so annoyed with other issues, BUT I DIDN'T.
Instead I said very calmly, "WHAT are you going to be?"
He said, "A Quilby." "It's a very quiet animal that doesn't make any noise."
Intrigued I asked, "Did you learned about this on PBS kids, sounds fascinating."
Monkey replied, "No, I made it up, but it's a very good idea for an animal, right?"
My heart softened and I relaxed a bit as I responded, " Yes, a very good idea for an animal and a great idea for you to be a Quilby right now." (while Mommy loses her shit)
Thank God for Monkey, now if he could figure out a way for the Management office to all turn into Quilbys I'll be golden.
Thank goodness Monkey is at day camp and although there are days I'd love to just pack and pack and get in a zone I do have a 1-year-old, Froggy attached to my leg all day. Yup, he's pretty much attached to my leg- ALL DAY. So I pack at night, into the wee hours when everyone else in the world is sleeping. Except those people on Twitter, they're up and listening to my rants at all hours of the night. Thank goodness for Twitter. (there's a sentence in my whole life I never thought I'd type.)
Yesterday the shit hit the fan. My Management company is throwing a wrench into our final plans to sell our place and I pretty much lost it upon receiving a letter at my door from them yesterday right before the "bedtime dance" was to begin. We all know the "dance" when the kids need about 100 things done in an hour. So it was dinner, bathtime, play toys, read/practice books with Monkey, give Froggy a bottle, get Froggy to bed and spend "alone" time with Monkey where he gets Mommy's undivided attention for an hour of fun/games/puzzles/books, etc. CRAZY! So when the letter arrived and I was already in the midst of craziness I totally lost it. I was stressing and crazy, like a woman on a mission where no one should get in my way. No one.
I tried to occupy Monkey and get Froggy to bed so I could focus on my plan with my Management company and discuss with IceMan the best way to go. Ugh, as if moving isn't enough, this is ultimate stress. Froggy went into his crib and in trying to keep my cool I may have been a bit harsh in my tone with Monkey, so I could "handle" this new situation. (there's always something isn't there)
In my pleading with him to please "FIND SOMETHING TO DO!" (promises of books, games and puzzles out the window)
He looked at me with those big blue eyes and paused, then he very slowly said, "I'm gonna be a Quilby."
I wanted to yell, "WHAT THE FUCK IS A QUILBY" because I was so annoyed with other issues, BUT I DIDN'T.
Instead I said very calmly, "WHAT are you going to be?"
He said, "A Quilby." "It's a very quiet animal that doesn't make any noise."
Intrigued I asked, "Did you learned about this on PBS kids, sounds fascinating."
Monkey replied, "No, I made it up, but it's a very good idea for an animal, right?"
My heart softened and I relaxed a bit as I responded, " Yes, a very good idea for an animal and a great idea for you to be a Quilby right now." (while Mommy loses her shit)
Thank God for Monkey, now if he could figure out a way for the Management office to all turn into Quilbys I'll be golden.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Testosterone OVERLOAD
Living with 3 boys (husband included) has it's perks and it's downsides.
I love that when the baseball game is on TV the house becomes eerily quiet as the 3 of them (yes, my infant included) snuggle on the couch and watch as if it's the most important thing in the world.The Sunday morning newspaper yields the same "so quiet you can hear a pin drop" factor, while IceMan actually reads the paper, Monkey scans the ads and comic, while Froggy enjoys throwing it around the living room and tearing the ads into little pieces. I love these "MEN" activities that keep everyone occupied and allow me 5 minutes of peace and quiet. (maybe I can pee by myself, ya think?!)
On the other hand, it's hard to pack up your entire world to move with 3 boys living in the house. Yes, we are moving and as of now sold our condo and have no where to go. (Hello, Uncle Kramer... interested in some new guests.) But for now, we are still moving and I am in charge of packing. It's very frustrating with all these boys. The moment a box is half-packed, I find newspaper, tape, markers and all the packing things ALL over the place. IceMan thinks they make nice coasters and is constantly using them to hold an iced beverage. Monkey thinks it's fun to use a box as a spaceship, fort or tunnel and Froggy follows his big brother, so much for packing STUFF in it. Not to mention the major mess that 3 boys make, which makes actually packing stuff all the more challenging. There are constantly shoes all over, sports balls from the mornings dodge ball game in my living room or the new favorite "Froggy in the Middle" (Froggy crawls back and forth between the other two trying to get the ball), socks, dishes, snacks, pants/shorts. Did I mention boys cannot seem to keep their pants on past the front door.
Last week Monkey had his shorts off in our hallway while I was opening the door. I turned and he was in his underwear. I was like, "What are you doing?" He said, "Getting comfortable."
I don't mind picking up after them, I certainly don't mind the packing for when it yields us a new home and not just us imposing on family. I do mind the days when I've had my share of "Testosterone Overload" as I call it. The days when if I see one more pair of underwear left by the toilet or one more shoe to trip over or one more toilet seat up that I want to scream.
Ugh, are ALL men like this or just mine??
I love that when the baseball game is on TV the house becomes eerily quiet as the 3 of them (yes, my infant included) snuggle on the couch and watch as if it's the most important thing in the world.The Sunday morning newspaper yields the same "so quiet you can hear a pin drop" factor, while IceMan actually reads the paper, Monkey scans the ads and comic, while Froggy enjoys throwing it around the living room and tearing the ads into little pieces. I love these "MEN" activities that keep everyone occupied and allow me 5 minutes of peace and quiet. (maybe I can pee by myself, ya think?!)
On the other hand, it's hard to pack up your entire world to move with 3 boys living in the house. Yes, we are moving and as of now sold our condo and have no where to go. (Hello, Uncle Kramer... interested in some new guests.) But for now, we are still moving and I am in charge of packing. It's very frustrating with all these boys. The moment a box is half-packed, I find newspaper, tape, markers and all the packing things ALL over the place. IceMan thinks they make nice coasters and is constantly using them to hold an iced beverage. Monkey thinks it's fun to use a box as a spaceship, fort or tunnel and Froggy follows his big brother, so much for packing STUFF in it. Not to mention the major mess that 3 boys make, which makes actually packing stuff all the more challenging. There are constantly shoes all over, sports balls from the mornings dodge ball game in my living room or the new favorite "Froggy in the Middle" (Froggy crawls back and forth between the other two trying to get the ball), socks, dishes, snacks, pants/shorts. Did I mention boys cannot seem to keep their pants on past the front door.
Last week Monkey had his shorts off in our hallway while I was opening the door. I turned and he was in his underwear. I was like, "What are you doing?" He said, "Getting comfortable."
I don't mind picking up after them, I certainly don't mind the packing for when it yields us a new home and not just us imposing on family. I do mind the days when I've had my share of "Testosterone Overload" as I call it. The days when if I see one more pair of underwear left by the toilet or one more shoe to trip over or one more toilet seat up that I want to scream.
Ugh, are ALL men like this or just mine??
Thursday, July 8, 2010
My Gucci Baby
I walked into their kitchen and looked around at the massive island, gorgeous breakfast nook and counter tops that went on for days. Whoa, I was in heaven. I wanted to whip out the pots and pans and try out the amazing Viking oven and Wolf range that are the kind you only see on Food Network. I secretly love to cook/bake and basically, just be in my kitchen. I was like a kid in a candy store and knew I couldn't touch anything, but was just excited to be there.
After I stopped spinning around the kitchen, I took a moment to look around at the people there and I felt like I was in the middle of an embarrassing dream. You know the dream you have of going to school in your underwear or public speaking in front of a huge audience. It was like I had just walked into a catalog cover spread from Vogue and was totally under dressed. In my skirt, top and Target purse with a duck sticking out of it (Thank you, Froggy) I felt my face grow very hot. My eyes quickly scanned the Stella McCartney couture fashions, Jimmy Choos, stellar accessories and gorgeously made-up women. I was the only one with a baby as an accessory so that right there made me so unique that heads turned.(I guess everyone else left their babies with their nannies)
I sat down daintily on the custom fabric breakfast chairs and Froggy got a little edgy so I took out a breakfast bar from my purse. Yes, my Target purse can hold a duck AND breakfast bars. People watched as Froggy's hands turned into a sticky blueberry mess. Man, why didn't I pick the apple one... and me wearing my white shirt. People gasped in horror as Froggy grabbed at my shirt with his food ridden hands and began to wipe them on me. Quickly, my brown skirt became speckled with cereal bar and my shirt had large blue streaks on it. I tried to contain the mess, but he's 1-year-old and without a highchair or a wipe it was a disaster at best.
After chasing Froggy around and trying to keep the Jimmy Choo heels off of his little hands and apologizing for my child crawling everywhere and touching everything....I left.
I don't have couture clothing or expensive shoes. I don't have anything out of Vogue and I don't care for loads of accessories. But I have to admit, Froggy was the accessory to top them all...I don't give a damn if Gucci wasn't stamped on his ass.
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